Jackie
by Glaser
Summary: I was told all my life that I was something that I wasn't, I've lied to my father and all of society. And they believed me.
1. The life of Jack Plantocracy

When I was born my father was away on business. He was the First Attendant of Communications, an extremely honorable position that gave one supreme power over Taroma and its provinces. My mom was left to squeeze me out all by herself with our nurse helping make her as comfortable as possible. I was a mistake the moment I popped out. I had been born a girl.

My mother knew the whole time the way only a mom can tell but she never shared her stipulations with my father. It must have been a blessing then that my father wasn't home when I was born. If he had been I would have been handed off to someone else or killed. Being left in the mountains was quite the possibility as well. But my secret was conceived right then and there when my mother made my nurse swear not to tell.

Jack Plantocracy was born with me. His name was written down on a birth certificate, mine was not. I believed I was he all these years until the day my mother sat me down and told me the truth.

Jack Plantocracy enjoyed playing in the sand with other aristocratic boys and digging out worms to catch fish with. He had light curly blond hair that his mother kept cut very short until the age of five when it darkened to a more dirty wheat color. His eyes were so light they looked like diluted green Jell-o. Some said that they were just grey and some said they were blue but the real color was most definitely green, his mother told him everyday.

Jack had a tendency to catch little animals in traps and he would hide them up in his room until one of the maids would find them and spank him. There was the incident of his pet snake that actually stayed hidden in his room for quite a while. Jack would catch rats and bring them to the snake and kept a little bowl of water out for it like a dog. He would have gotten away with the pet if one maid hadn't seen the bowl and went searching for a bunny rabbit. That maid quit a short time after, most of them did. Jack was an untamable boy.

A little girl named Jenna Marie used to try to play with Jack and his friends but they made fun of her. She being a girl made her inferior to the boys. She had cooties they said. But she was just so darn persistent when it came to playing with them.

I was the one who eventually caved and the boys went along with it since Jack was the leader of the pack. Jack and the boys were planning one of their adventures when she came to them for the fiftieth time that summer. They were all around six or eight years old. Jack was the second eldest at seven and a half like Jenna Marie.

"Mister Owl will be going out to get the news paper at exactly four o'clock so that's when we'll move in." Petey told the boys who were leaning around a big bucket of worms.

Mister Owl was a good man to the boys when they were separate but together he was always chasing them away and yelling mean things. Mister Owl was a servant and therefore was fair game for any of the pranks. Mess with an adult and there will be worse things to worry about then just a spanking.

"Hi, boys." Jack turned around to see that Jenna Marie was back.

"Go away Jenna Marie."

"I just want to play," she looked at the boys' faces each individually, looking for a weak link. She found none.

"This is only for boys and you're too little."

"Am not, Jack Planocracy. I can be just as big as the rest of you." Jenna Marie had a little bit or a mean streak in her sometimes.

"Fine. Come with us," Jack invited thinking of a plan on the spot. "You have to keep your big trap shut though." She pushed her lips together tightly and nodded. "Okay, follow us."

Getting into Mr. Owl's house was easy, he always kept his big back window open and Martin knew how to pop out the screen with his screwdriver. Each of the five boys and Jenna Marie slipped into the dark house. Only the light from the windows lit up the room. Mr. Owl was out for his newspaper and cigarettes. Jack's mom always said that Mr. Owl'll never buy his freedom with all the cigs he smokes.

"Put all these in his bed Jenna Marie."

"With my fingers that's gross."

"You can't be a boy if you don't like touching worms," Martin dictated sternly. Jenna Marie sighed and grabbed a big handful of the slimy little critters. She made several gagging noises while she shoveled the worms into the bed.

Jack's plan backfired; instead of scaring her away with worms he ended up giving her the opportunity to impress all of his friends. Jenna Marie became an official tag along there after. Jack couldn't complain he sort of liked having her along sometimes, she would do as they say since she was the littlest of the group.

"Jack?" His mom's voice was low and deadly the way it got when she knew something.

"Yes." He batted his eyes a few times mustering up all of his innocence.

"Al Block just called. Did you put worms in his bed?"

Jack sniggered in spite of himself. "No, didn't even touch 'em."

Jenna Marie served as a good scapegoat. Jack's mom hardly got as mad when he blamed it on Jenna Marie. She seemed to know when he was lying about his innocence although.

But his time with Jenna Marie was short lived because boys and girls only go to the same school until fifth grade. Once middle school came around the schools became segregated. The girls went to the school down the street from the boys, it wasn't as fine as the boys' school and it was quite smaller. When Jack asked about this, his mother answered that girls are smaller and they don't need as much room.

In his fifth grade class the week before school got out for the summer the children were separated and brought to the school for their tour. Two years with Jenna Marie all the time found Jack developing a best friend in her. The two were inseparable, she was good and they were both seriously sassy and bold which got them into fights frequently. She waved good-bye to Jack with a big smile on her cute little face as they exited out of separate doors. Jack didn't watch after that since he was too excited to see his brand new school.

It was just like his first one but the toilets were higher off the floor and there were only boys' bathrooms. All the teachers were male and it was like you could smell the testosterone radiating off the walls. There were pictures hanging up on the walls but there weren't any colorful painted flowers decorating the lockers. It was much more grown up, and masculine looking.

"Fellas, this is where you'll spend your next four years of school. Depending on how you do here you will be put in different schools to draw out your strengths. I'd like to remind you that you should always try your best here." The principal was a large man with big muscles and stood seven feet high at least. He had a close shaven beard and side burns. He wore a big gold ring on his right index finger. It looked like it would hurt if this man ever hit you.

The older kids that were in charge of giving the tour whispered secrets that weren't part of the official information that the teachers approved. They said that when kids didn't work up to their 'full potential' they were sent to the principal and were usually out for a few days. When they came back they would have a black eye. Jack wasn't sure whether to believe them or not.

Apart from the intimidating older boys the school was welcoming. The few classes they got to sit in for an hour had cheerful teachers that knew their stuff. The gym was much bigger then the one in the elementary school. Jack was the strongest boy in his class, he could do ten pull ups no problem and was excited to show up all the older boys during middle school physical education.

The bell rang for lunch and kids came pooling out of the classrooms and for the first time in the last two hours Jack felt small. The boys who were showing them around now were only a few inches taller then Jack but the ninth graders were huge. One boy came by who was about the size of my father. Jack quick turned to Petey who was also starring at the large boys.

"They're so big."

"Yeah, I know." Petey sounded more intruiged then scared. He looked at them in different eyes. He explained later that someday they were going to look like that, they were going to be that big and powerful. Until then, Jack decided he would keep his distance from them. This was reinforced when three boys came over.

"What are you looking at newbies?" Two of the boys pushed us backwards and laughed as they walked away.

"Jerks!" I called after them, not able to help myself. I didn't take crap from anyone even if they could probably eat me in one bite.

Back at home Jack told his mom all about his discoveries at the school and couldn't wait to hear about Jenna Marie's day at school. She called him before he could call her.

"Jenna Marie?"

"Can I come over?"

"Yes, I'll meet you at the door." Jack hung up and ran out to the door basically bouncing where he stood with excitement at the new school. He just wanted school to end already so he could start his first day of grade six. Jenna Marie walked slowly, watching her feet as she approached from the house across the street.

"Did you see your school?" He exploded before she was even through the door.

"Yeah, Jack I don't want to go to girl school. Can I come to boy school with you?" My mom looked over her shoulder from her place on the couch.

"Oh, honey why don't you want to go to school?"

"I'm afraid of the school. They sat us down today and talked to us long and hard about next year and about how they wouldn't put up with any problems and they were all so angry looking. The walls were blank like a jail."

"It's because that's for little kids."

"I'm just not ready to go yet. What was your school like Jack?"

"Well...it was great! The teachers all seemed really nice and the lockers are bigger and it smells different, not like bubbles and pudding but like ink and grown ups."

"Can I come to your school?"

"It's only for boys," Jack said flatly.

"Excuse me." My mom got up and walked into the kitchen abruptly to talk to Abbie, my nurse. Jenna Marie played with the end of her long brown braids for a while, deep in thought.

"I'm not going to let them break me. All the girls there are all pink and polite and you know what I say?" She let a loud burp rip through the air. We both erupted into laughter. I knew that Jenna Marie would never change she was too much of herself to start liking pink.

She eventually forgot about her visit with her new school and the following week was just like old times. Then that final bell rang and screams echoed off the walls as children ran out of the school with cries of joy. Jack was one of the loudest children. He didn't even notice Jenna-Marie's silence as she walked slowly behind him and his friends.

"You're coming to my party tonight, right?" Jack asked her as she separated from the gang to walk up her driveway. She nodded and promised that she'd be there. Nothing could rain on Jacks day. That was until he opened his own house door to two very serious women sitting on the couch.


	2. Best day of his life

"Hey," Jack said timidly he didn't like the way his mother was looking at him.

They sat Jack down with a grim nod of the head. He did as they said even though fear had all but paralyzed him. The room was large and seemed especially silent tonight. There weren't any footsteps from above or any crackling of the speakers. The power was completely out and the shades were drawn. Seeing all of this should have tipped Jack off right away but he couldn't look away from his mother's serious eyes. She held the look she got when she watched a traitor being dragged through the streets towards the court house. That resolve.

His mother did all the talking, the nurse looked as if she was just there for support which in and of itself was weird. My mom never needed support; she's the most independent person I know.

She smiled quickly and started by asking if Jack wanted any tea. "No, thank-you," he responded quietly.

She sighed and each little tick of the old grandfather clock felt like an hour. Jack watched his mother steadily trying to read her face. She was looking at the floor unaware of the two sets of eyes on her face. Possibly she was aware and just temporarily at a loss of words—again something extremely strange for Jack's mother. Finally, she met Jack's gaze directly.

"I noticed that you are hanging with Jenna Marie quite often, are you developing a little crush?"

Jack's mood instantly brightened, this was all it's about? It seemed hardly the reason to act so grim. He shook his head with a half smile on his face, glad that this was all she was worried about. Maybe she was afraid that another girl would take her favorite little man away.

"Girls are a waste. She just gets me better." She always seemed easier to relate to then the other guys. Maybe it was a crush, he seriously doubted it though.

"What about any of the boys?"

"I don't know." He shrugged trying to recall if anyone had ever said anything nice about Jenna Marie. "We don't talk about her much." Jack didn't see the purpose of his mother's questioning, maybe she was the one who had the crush on Jenna Marie.

"No, I mean, do you like any of the boys?"

Jack and society had the same answer for that one. Jack shook his head harshly proclaiming that that was gross. There were several things that everyone was forbid to mention, differences, bad words, negative views of the government and sex. What my mother was implying was the first and she could get in some trouble for speaking that question.

"I know what you're thinking," she claimed. "But every mother is allowed to break the news to explain the way of things to their sons and daughters." She looked at Jack for a long time letting what she said sink in for a while.

"Starting this summer and thereafter, there will be changes, in you." She explained to me the process that was taken in order for me to be conceived and the different anatomy that men and women have. She told me that someday I would be allowed to do the same if I wrote for permission from the Council of Communications. I found it all slightly disgusting and even more embarrassing when I realized that I was the outcome of this disgusting act she was describing. Jack's lips turned down at the corners the longer his mother went into description. He wanted to plug his ears when she got into some bit about blood coming out of unfathomable places. He was also puzzled about certain things she explained, things that didn't seem to go with the way of the world, the world according to Jack. This was a place that only exists in younger minds that are capable of imagining the impossible.

"That can't be right, I'm a boy but I have something different."

My mother just looked at me long and hard waiting for me to finally understand what she was trying to tell me. I was the person looking down at my feet now, a loss of words. Just say it straight out mom, I thought bitterly. What is all this beading around the bush? We both know that you have been breaking the law. I started out slowly waiting, and praying that there was something wrong and she was just making this all up to prank me. It couldn't be though; my mother was always a serious woman who said what she meant and didn't waste time with what didn't need to be heard.

"But mom, that wouldn't make me a boy." Jack's whole world was being turned upside down with one explanation.

"No, you're not. Not a single soul knows this truth apart from the people in this room and it needs to remain so—forever." She seemed to tack on the last part as an after thought.

"Does dad—?"

"No."

Hiding this truth from even my father? It was incomprehensible. He had always been so good to us, maybe he wasn't around as much as we wanted him to be but we loved him and all of these years my mother had been lying to his face—lying to mine.

"It can't be right. I'm going to boy school, I play with boys, I think little dollies are dumb and I hate pink. I pick up bugs not flowers. What happens when I grow those?" I gestured to her chest erratically. "Why even go through the stress of changing my gender? I could have done just as well as a girl. I don't want to be a girl! They're slow, weak and soft."

"Try to calm down," Nurse said, touching my knee softly. My breath was coming fast as I reached my peeking point. What would happen to me and my family if anyone found out?

My father had eminent status. Every person in Taroma knew him _and_ his family. They watched us on television when we were invited to dinners, fancy parties or any other special occasion. People read about my graduation in newspapers and magazines, people read about the time my father bought a new car. He was a hot commodity in the gossip column and a giant in politics. I was known to the world as Jack Plantocracy. How dare my mother build that whole lie around me?

I took in a deep breath. "Wh—why did you do it?"

"You can't see it all now but men have better opportunities in this time we inhabit. Being a girl can destroy a person if they aren't extremely careful and intelligent, which, society keeps them from. I'm not doubting your ability—" she said as I opened my mouth to protest my intelligence. "I'm just saying that things happen now that I don't want my little girl to have to suffer through."

"It's never going to work."

"I always knew you were going to be a girl. As long as you were kicking around in me, I just knew. I feared your future and what your dad would do if you did turn out like I had expected. I wanted to protect you and if that meant lying to the whole world and probably being damned by doing it, I would do it all over again."

"Girls and boys don't look the same, people will catch on."

"You still have about two years until any noticeable changes will occur and when the time comes I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Can't we just tell the truth?" There was no rhyme or reason to the way I acted but my eyes were getting foggy and hot. Didn't know how to feel anymore, I didn't feel like myself. I felt like I was standing naked on a stage in front of a huge crowd. I felt venerable and very, very confused. My skin didn't seem to fit right anymore. I scratched my arm quick, waiting for my mom to answer. When she didn't I snapped my head up to see that her and Abbie were both looking at me with pitiful eyes.

"Shut up, stop looking at me," I sneered, my upper lip actually coming up to my gums like I saw a dog do once.

"Do not think this changes anything that you are, or what anyone thinks of you. No one will ever know the truth and you only need to keep going on the way you've been for the last eleven years. We'll take precautions but you're fine."

The heavy weight that was piling up on my chest didn't relent with her words. That look in her eyes was still there but so was that same resolve, she thought she was truly doing the right thing. The least I could do was smile and thank her for going through six hours of labor and nine months of fatigue.

"I'm going to bed for a little while," I muttered.

"Okay, what ever you need Jax." I nodded and stood, walking slowly for the steps. The moment my right foot was on the bottom step I heard my mom call from the other room. "Oh, and Jackie. We found the squirrel."

Some time later I found myself sprawled out on the floor staring up at the ceiling. I find myself doing that a lot after that one night she told me. It was the place I went when I wanted to think. My ceiling was very white that night but over the years small smudges appeared from this and that. Each smudge had a story behind it but some I just couldn't remember all that well. The brown one right in front of me now was from the time that Brent and I had a chocolate whipped cream fight. Brent was the best cousin a birl could ask for.

Birl is the name I gave myself.

Brent was a year older then I was. He thought that he was the biggest toughest guy around because of the fact that his mom decided that he was an annoying pest and wanted him out of her as soon as possible. I told him that he being older just showed that his parents didn't like him as much.

"Oh, yeah?" He got that funny angry look about his face when he was about to punch me. I ducked just as his fist came around. He lost balance and came a tumbling to the floor with a crash. I was afraid that he would break something. He was only fourteen but he already had the body of a young man. He was kind of a little player though, and was awfully sweet on Jenna Marie.

She would giggle and bat her eyes at him when he flirted with her. I would get harassment from him after she would leave. He would always start his attack by commenting on her body or her hair or her face or her smell, the list went on. Followed by the same question.

"Hey cuz, why haven't you gotten that yet?"

That was an easy answer but I never told him the real one. It would usually be something like, she likes someone else or we're just friends. The unfortunate truth was that I didn't like anyone.

It must be the down side to my predicament that I don't like boys but I don't like girls either. I guess I don't like anyone. Dying alone in Taroma wasn't justifiable and that's how my future looked. People gave old lonely crones dirty or pitiful looks when they went out walking.

It wasn't like that people actually married for any good reason. I never saw the point of it. The families arranged who you would live with most of the time and you did as they said. I would someday be stuck with some girl and I'll have to pretend that I actually like her. My mom would probably say that I couldn't tell my wife the truth either.

So currently I just live the lie that my mom forced me into and wish for the day I turn ninety-three and die. Easiest way out of the lie is dying. I wasn't the kind of person that went around moping about life and harming my self. Life got tough sometimes but when it came down to the wire, my overall standing was pretty good.

When I got up in the morning I had dry spit on my lips and wore a baggy t-shirt. I slipped into a tight spandex top that kept my chest flat and wore sweatshirts that were slightly baggier then they needed to be so it would look like that I had bigger arms. Even with the disguise my mom has me wear my face still looks a little too feminine.

I had a straight little curved nose and dark-ish pink lips that were a little too full for boy lips. My eyes were light which made them look a little smaller then if they were brown but they were still pretty large but they were almond shaped from my Irish ancestors. Sometimes before I went out to school I would look in the mirror for a long time and wonder what I would look like with long hair and make up. If I ever tried I knew that I might lose my resolve.

Sure at first boys seem pretty great but when they get older they get more annoying. They sure do know how to have fun instead of sit around and talk but they talk too loud and seem to be puffing out their chest all the time. It would be nice to put on a pretty dress and eye shadow and go to a fancy party and have boys tell me how pretty I am, like all the other girls. Sadly that's not how my life went.

Instead here I was standing in front of the mirror looking at a girl with short hair and a tuxedo that had to be custom made to make me look bigger. I was pretty tall but not as tall as the other boys were at thirteen. They all seemed to decide to shoot up at once and leave me behind.

I only let them leave me behind in height. I worked harder then all of them when it came to grades, staying up to four in the morning sometimes to study. I saw what happens to people that slack off. I've seen kids being pulled away from the building and put into cars. Those kids rarely turn up after that. I've heard rumors that they are killed, others believe that they are made into the cafeteria lunch. But I knew the truth from indirect points leading to the conclusion. They are the slaves that work for the government or are sold to powerful elites like Mister Al. I never got around to asking Mr. Al if that was the way of things, he passed just around the time I figured it out.

Talking to my father about it would be too intimidating. He would probably make up a lie and say they were just sent to a different school which, sure, could be a plausible possibility. From the government conversations I've eavesdropped on it looks unlikely however.

My mom says that I'm too smart for my own good and that I'll draw too much attention to myself. The alternative was being shipped off in one of those black cars. I remember watching the first boy go. He was kicking down the hallways, they took him after school. I had stayed after that day to work on some extra credit work. I didn't want to see his face but something drew me to the window. A little red head was stuffed into the car. The man who had carried him all the way to the car looked up and met my eyes. He tipped his hat respectfully and got into the car. I looked for the red hair for the rest of the year. Red hair is extremely rare, I saw only one kid and it definitely wasn't the same boy.

"Jack, are you ready?" My father's voice was on the other side of the door. I squirted some cologne on and opened it for him.

"Nice jacket." He straightened my tie for me and looked me up and down. "Have you gotten taller?"

I nodded with a little smile. I secretly purchased dress shoes with a slightly higher heel and base knowing it would give me at least another inch.

"It's about time." He punched me in the arm playfully. "You're just a late bloomer. You'll be the biggest guy in the school by the time you graduate." He hesitated for a second looking me up and down. "Maybe." We were going to the ninth grade graduation dinner now. Brent was downstairs already with my mom when we got done.

"Dude, you're graduating not going to a funeral." Brent laughed. I rolled my eyes but caught myself halfway through. My mom said that I looked too much like a girl when I did that. She needed to understand that it was impossible to pretend I was a guy. She still hadn't let go of the dream of me being something more.

"Dude, have you seen the school I'm going to next year?"

He just laughed and patted me on the back.

I was silent in the car on the way to the dinner. Everyone else couldn't have enough to say. Mom was talking about how she proud she was, my dad was talking about the special announcement they told him about that they will be making public tonight. Brent kept poking me hard on the shoulder every time I zoned out. I kept reaching up to touch my hair. I was test driving my new wig today.

"Yeah," I tried sounding agreeable when Brent elbowed me. My dad looked satisfied and went on talking.

As soon as I grow out my hair a good length so I can just see what I would look like, I will chop it all back off anyway. I wasn't suddenly interested in changing genders. There was just that curiosity. All the other boys went through their long hair phase, this was simply mine. My mom caught on to my constant touching half way through our dinner.

"It's not healthy to touch your head while you're eating." She shot me a warning glance.

"What do you have up there bugs?" My friend Chris asked, thinking he was funny.

I lost all of my cool friends in seventh grade when they realized that I was a little weird. So I was stuck with the 'freaks'. Honestly I didn't like them at all and they annoyed me half of the time, always thinking they were funnier then they really were, but without them I would be a total loner. I survived the last two years but just barely. It was miraculous that I didn't just snap one day and punch them all out. There were some days when I was pretty darn close.

"Feels like it."

"Ew man that's gross."

"Sh." My mother hushed us quickly. Our principal was just taking the microphone from a disembodied hand in the darkness. This must be the time my father had been looking forward to all night. The big announcement. He wouldn't have come if there wasn't a big announcement. He felt that if he went to the 'graduation' he didn't have to go to some dumb dinner with people that just want to talk to him about their problems.

He was handling pretty well tonight. Only three people came over to talk business and even then he dismissed them pronouncing that he was here to be with his family and if they had anything they whished to share with him, he would be in the office tomorrow. They were more then welcome to come down and waste his time then. That got people to shut up. No one wants to actually _go_ to the communications building. I was his son and even I didn't go there on career day. I sat at home and wrote a fake paper about what I did with my father.

"Ladies and Gentlemen I hope you are enjoying your evening. I'd like to take a chance to thank everyone here and congratulate the ninth graders on a superb readying school experience." There was a pause to give everyone the chance to applaud, my parents did. I kept my hands in my lap until an angry look from my mom made me place them together. The noise died.

"Yes, yes, good job. This is a time of celebration, for some more then others. I'm happy to have been able to educate each and every boy here. They are all fine specimen of male and all of their teachers agree. One, especially out applied all the others as long as this school has been in use. A student has been chosen to be sent to Mareth Vox from our very own school. This is a true honor for everyone involved because it takes _everyone_ to educate _anyone_. The pupils around us here today facilitated this rise to stardom and hereafter we will all be remembered because of them. Based on test grades other aspects he has been requested by the _head_ Vox. This in itself is a paramount approbation."

I knew it was my name that he would call. There wouldn't be any other reason for my father to be here. This was why he was so excited. I was terrified and I knew the moment my name left his lips everyone would go searching to see my face. I would have to put on a killer performance if I was ever going to survive this night.

"Jack Plantocracy will start his new school this coming autumn with the greatest minds and bodies that Taroma has to offer." Gasps from some of the boys who were all probably thinking about how we used to be so close. I was strong in P.E. faster then most of them but certainly couldn't bench nearly as much, maybe half as much as the weakest guy. The only way they would have picked me is because the fact that I was a Plantocracy and that I had outrageous grades. There were only _fifteen_ kids per grade level at that school, people say.

"Woah, is this for real?" I said in my deepest voice, I pulled my best half smile as I looked at all the proud faces looking at me. That night my dad looked like he would die on the spot from being filled with too much pride.

He never lost the little kid excitement in his eyes for the following hours as we stood outside of the school talking to reporters who were eager to get the low down on the extraordinary boy.

"Were you expecting this surprise tonight?" A blonde woman with perky blue eyes asked me. She seemed to be trying to get my attention by using her body. Like that would get me to talk to her. I answered her question anyway since my dad was busy answering his own.

"No, I had no idea. I always knew I was kind of good with school but not that good."

"Is it scary thinking that you are going to be at school with the most gifted kids in Taroma? It's got to be intimidating."

"Hell it is."

"Some don't even make it through their first year."

"Yeah. I know." I picked my smile back up before all of Taroma saw a boy who really didn't know what he got and thought, just because he was of a good family, he was above the government. I didn't think any of that, I was just freaking out in my head and needed a place to go and think.

"I wish the best of luck to you this coming summer. You're going to need it." She said off of the camera. I smiled sadly at her and walked away, ignoring all of the questions being fired at me from friends, ex-friends, reporters and teachers. Everyone wanted to see the boy that everyone spent the last year making fun of because he wasn't as big or as strong as the next one. Now, their tune changes when fame is at stake.

"Good job, buddy." Brent clapped me on the back hard.

"Thanks."

"You seem down," he said once we were safely in the car. My dad told us to go off before him. He had to get back to work and answer some more questions for the press. I didn't mind, I really didn't want to see him right now.

"Wouldn't you be if you were just told that you were going to Mareth Vox? Dude, that's...whoa."

"It is but you've always been tough, never that big of a guy but certainly tough."

"Thanks. But the guys that are going to be there will be tough and you know what tough guys do to the little guy?"

"They aren't like that, kids that got in there are like you, they are all freaky smart. I actually know a kid that goes there."

"You do?" It was rare for some one to know a person in Mareth Vox even rarer to know two.

"Yeah, my best friend was brought there last year. I could call him and have him show you the ropes or something. I'm pretty sure I've talked about him before. Dean is his name."

"Right, the one you would spoon at sleepovers."

"Right." He smiled and punched me. I was going to have bruise there if everyone didn't stop hitting me tonight.


	3. School begins

That summer was the quickest of my life. When you stare at a clock wanting the minute to change it usually doesn't, not for a while at least. I tried this technique day in and day out whishing that the minutes would click by slowly but it didn't work. They passed like milliseconds and suddenly it was all over.

Jenna Marie was sad that I was leaving but proud too, we spent a lot of time together talking about the future. She told me that she hoped that I would come back in once piece or she'll go in swinging to bring the rest of me out. I was glad that she survived readying school in once piece, I wasn't so sure if I had.

We were a messed up pair, trying the best we could to console each other about the year to come by having fun. When you are having fun it doesn't matter if you are standing in a mile long line or running a marathon, the time just seems to fly.

"I'm going to miss talking to you, Jack." She admitted the night before I was leaving. My mom allowed her to spend the night for the first time as long as I've known her. We were actually camping out in my old tent about ten feet away from my back door.

"That's the funny things about phones."

She laughed. "You have to promise that you'll make sure you're okay, I won't be around to protect your butt."

"Yeah. I'll try my best."

I never asked her to take care of herself. I thought about that long and hard for weeks to come. But it had just slipped my mind. For being so smart I never really picked up on the signs, I guess that's what happens when you are too preoccupied with your own problems.

She stayed to see me off, I already said good-bye to my other 'friends'. I didn't want anyone seeing me off except for Brent and Jenna Marie. They looked awfully cozy when they were waving me away.

Brent always true to his word showed me a picture of Shawn and he was quite something to look at, that's for sure. He had dark brown hair and hooded brown eyes with a great build. I had to look away before I could be accused of drooling.

My mom spent the previous week setting up meetings with some teachers. She said everyone gets their own room which is joined with ten others to form a big living area and library.

I was packed with everything I would possibly need. I kept my wig and other boy disguise necessities in a bag buried deep in one of my suitcases along with a year supply of girl necessities. I told my mom about my growing out my hair and she insisted that I kept two wigs incase something happened to the first. She was way to over prepared but I guess that she had every right to be. She wouldn't be around to help me through these years like she had been for the last four. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do without her.

I squeezed her tight and had to remind myself not to cry. She had no problem allowing a few drops touch her cheeks. I kissed her on the cheek before Brent told me to stop being a pansy and get over here. I clasped his hand with mine and pulled him into a quick hug.

"You better not be setting up some trouble for me at this school," I muttered under my breath so that my mom wouldn't hear.

He got an innocent look on his face. "Never."

"Be safe." Jenna Marie whispered in my ear when she pulled me close to her for a few seconds longer then I was accustomed to.

"Naturally." I smiled and waved to the little group as I stepped into the car.

My dad had our driver bring me to the school and he, of course, just had to accompany me. He _did_ know _everyone_ from when he was a lad, so he said. I think that he secretly was going to miss me like crazy too.

If my mom went overboard on supplies my dad went overboard on splurges. He told me he wanted me to feel completely at home and as if these boys were my family. He got me a laptop to stay connected with my real family, a television and Blueray system, stereo, mini fridge and microwave for late night snacks. The strangest thing he gave me was a large bronze statue of a Buddha. We aren't really religious at all but he explained. It wasn't just for luck.

"You learn here, like you never have. You have your basic classes of course but then you'll have new strange ones but it doesn't end there. Everyone around you is your competition and they'll want you out so they have a better chance at landing favor. I want you to keep all of your secrets in his belly."

He couldn't show me since all of the larger and more expensive stuff was in a U-haul truck behind us but I got the gist of what to do by his demonstrations. It was almost like he knew everything but that was impossible, we were so careful.

"Now as your father I don't want you to have any bad secrets but as someone who knows this place. I know you'll need a place you can absolutely trust."

"Thanks, it means a lot." I gave my father a quick hug and went back to listening to my music.

Two hundred and forty eight songs later we were at the school. It was late and the campus was dark except for a few windows. There was a light over a large copper door. The light showed the door open and a man in a dark cloak glided towards us. It was truly a spectacular sight with the large school towering over us surreally. It looked like a lost dream. My dad told me that in pre-epidemic times this school was an Oxford or something of the sort. I thought it was magnificent. Nothing like it stood today with its large brick walls and tall windows.

"You must be Jack," the man in the cloak guessed when he was close enough to be heard in whispered tones. "Everyone is sleeping but our entire body has not arrived yet. I'm sir Hodgewell, dean of students."

"Great to meet you, I'm Jack's father." My dad shook his hand firmly. I could tell that he really wanted to bounce the man's hand up and down like an excited child. My father, forever the aristocrat, was above that.

"Pleasure, Sir Plantocracy. I can show you up to Jack's room so we can get him situated." I hadn't noticed the two other men who were unloading things from the back of the truck. I grabbed my suitcase with all my hidden items in one hand and my bed trimmings in the other and followed my dad and Sir Hodgewell up the flights of stairs.

For those first moments at the school I felt at peace like I was in the right place for once. I momentarily forgot that I was wearing a wig and spandex. This was my world, where I had every right to be. _They wanted me here_. There weren't any elevators and I could tell I would be getting a lot of exercise for the next year. I was already out of breath when we reached a single door at the top of a staircase. A railing kept anyone from falling down and along the little loft area where there were three doors.

"You and the year older share this wing. Your room is through the first door here." Sir Hodgewell handed me a key, there wasn't a keychain attached. I made a mental note to get a key chain.

"Go ahead," my dad pushed. He was just as excited to see the inside of the room as I was, probably even more so.

I didn't see the great draw but then again the lights were all off at the time. A fire smoldered near the door and in the corner there was a small staircase escalating to the next floor. There were three others similar to the one opposite from me. Six other doors were somewhere in here but I couldn't see any of them in the dark.

Dim lights flicked on, I looked over my shoulder to see Sir Hodgewell turned them on. "Your room is this way." My father, the movers and I all proceeded behind him into a small indent in the back of the room near a huge bookshelf. It was well placed and sufficiently further away from the rest of the rooms I saw so far. My key for the front door also unlocked my room door. I looked to Mister Hodgewell for explanation.

"This doesn't open all of the doors does it?"

"No, just your room and the front door. Everyone has a different key that only unlocks their rooms and the front door." I nodded, assured but still confused on how different keys could unlock the same lock. He seemed to know better then I did so I didn't push him. I would question the others later on his sanity.

The bed was narrow and long and that was the only piece of furniture in the room. I stared at the empty room. Blinking, hoping that something might magically appear out of no where.

"I've got you covered kiddo." My dad laid his hand on my shoulder for a second. I had to smile. I thought that my dad was just buying all of that stuff for the hell of it. I missed the little smudges on my ceiling; this was just plain off white color with dark wood trim around the closet and door way with white carpeting with little colors blended into it making it look tanner.

Two guys pushed through the door carrying a small couch, a guy followed with dismantled desk. Following him came a guy with a chair, and then the Buddha came through the door with little shaking legs. Sir Hodgewell raised his eyebrow at the Buddha but didn't say anything about it.

"I'll leave you to get settled. Again it was nice meeting you mister Plantocracy."

My dad nodded and returned the statement. I don't think he caught on to Hodgewell's subtle suggestion. He wanted my father to wrap it up and leave me be, I wasn't sure if he caught on. Maybe he did, he just wasn't ready to leave. The men continued making trips back and fourth, up and down the stairs carrying all of my belongings. One guy installed the television on the wall using power tools that weren't exactly quiet. My dad sat on my bed and surveyed them all for a few quiet seconds.

"I better be off, you'll be okay here?"

"Course, pops."

"You're going to have a great time," he promised and pulled me into a quick hug. "Call me if you need anything else, I've got the guys to stock your fridge with some good stuff incase the food stinks here." He wasn't saying it in a loving way, just stating the obvious, business like.

"Okay, I will."  
>"Alright, champ. See you soon."<p>

He left before I could reply. I desperately wished to just fall asleep but it was obvious I would be doing no such thing with all of this activity going on around me. I left the room, letting the movers do their thing, with just my pillow and settled in on one of the couches by the fire.

It was a proud moment my father never completely accepted me the way I was (as Jack). He was always remarking on my height or on my flimsy arms, which I admit aren't huge but they are bigger then the average girls. My muscles have always been longer not bulkier. I was happy to have him almost proud of me. It made me feel like he was more _my_ father and not just a man who shared my house.

Something hit me on the face after three seconds of lying there. I blinked my eyes open to see a sneaker sitting on my stomach. I sat up straight holding the sneaker from the heavens.

"Yo, douche. Can't you do this in the morning?" I swiveled around to see that it was the boy from the photograph looking extremely tired and pissed off—not a good combination with guys.

"I wish." I rubbed my head from where the shoe fell.

"You're Brent's cousin aren't you? He described you; your eyes are hard to miss. They're fucking creepy."

"Thanks. Yeah I'm he."

He laughed. "I can tell how you got here, Einstein." He didn't make any move to sit with me but he wasn't being nasty anymore. I hoped that maybe I would have one friend by tomorrow morning.

"Yeah, you're the best wrestler in the state I heard."

"I'm alright. No offense man but your tiny."

"I get that a lot."

He scratched the side of his temple and closed his eyes. The huge bags under his eyes told me that he really needed tonight's sleep, especially since there was only another day before school started. I touched my head to make sure that my wig was still in place.

"I think that they're just going to install the television and stuff, the rest will be done in a few minutes."

"Good, if I'm up later then that...you'll find out how I really got here. Give me my shoe back."

I handed it back obediently and Shawn left just as he had come. I noticed that he got one of the rooms on the stairs. I wondered briefly what his room looked like. A fantastic idea floated into my head at that question. I was living with this guy as a brother, I would probably find out what his room looked like before the end of the year came around.

"Mister Plantocracy." It took the name to be repeated again for me to realize that the name was mine. I was always so used to my father being called by that title. "We have finished unloading all of your things. Have a good night." I thanked the moving guy and slipped under my covers without even bothering to look at my furnished room.

The following night felt like it was a sleepless one. Looking back I feel like I wasn't asleep a wink but somehow I was just as alert and awake as a full night of rest would have made me. There was a loud pounding on my door accompanied by Shawn's voice. "Shortie! Get up you'll miss breakfast!" the pounding resumed.

"I'll be out just quit knocking!" I yelled groggily then I realized that I had no idea where I was going. "Hold on! Wait!" I tugged my wig on and changed into a pair of jeans. "I don't know where I'm going."

"Yeah, no kidding." A flirtatious giggle fit threatened to break out.

"Thanks for getting me, sorry about last night."

"Yeah its over, you're just lucky it was me and not some one really bad."

"Sure am." I smiled. He gave me a weird side glance and muttered, "You're a weird kid." The inside of the school was quite large including the dining hall. Three long tables were set up the furthest was where the teachers ate and the other two were for the students.

"Good luck, I'm not eating here today."

I looked at him in confusion. He was the only kid I knew here. Only about eight other boys were sitting on the tables looking groggy and remaining silent. With saying that, they still were huge and hugely intimidating.

"I don't need luck," I mumbled and strutted up to the nearest table with my head held high. No one turned their heads to look at me.

"If you say so." When I went to tell him a witty comeback that I hadn't thought of yet he wasn't standing there anymore.

He was wrong there was no need for luck. That breakfast went along uneventful but when you are eating by yourself, and you are the only one in the room who is eating by themselves time seems to crawl by slowly. Sure, I thought bitterly, now you go by slowly.

Silverware hit plates and made a pleasant background sound to the low rumblings of boys slowly talking to each other. Usually there weren't any long conversations just little questions and an answer. A crash came from the front of the building sending everyone into an alert position. My lips played with a small smile, they all reminded me of bunnies who heard a foot fall near there home.

A boy with sandy blond hair appeared with the man in the cloak who was now not in a cloak. A new arrival was being shown his home. I wished that I was given that luxury since I was probably never going to find my way back to my dorm.


End file.
